Hmmm - not doing so good with the blog or regaining the self image!!

I was very excited to see I have 5 followers now!

It gives me motivation to post! Someone will read my ramblings!! woot , woot!

Okay, so I joined a weight loss challenge on one of my fav website forums.

A girl on the forum puts together a Secret Girlfriend group every so often. The pretense is that you will receive fun stuff in the mail instead of bills and/or boring stuff. It's a lot of fun. My SGF sent me a box of "get fit" goodies which I thought was really cool!! The challenge starts tomorrow - and I think I will kick off the challenge with a morning run!!

I've been a bad SGF for June -still haven't mailed out her present yet. Sorry :(.

I've been feeling kind of lonely lately at work. My best work friend is on maternity leave until August, at my second job my best work friend is moving far away. OH and I have a fairly new boss at my first job; my old boss and I worked together for 6 years - so we chatted on a social level so work in general is rather quiet and lonely. (insert boo-boo face here).

Back to the WLC (June 25th thru September ??)- my first goal is a 7 pound loss. I always think lose 5 pounds or lose 10 pounds and it doesn't work out so I will try something new - 7 pounds!!

And when I loss those 7 pounds these pants I'm wearing will be a lot more comfortable!!!!!!

Tomorrow I will start my day with a run AND drink 6 glasses of water during my day. Normally I probably drink about 1 glass of water and MANY glasses of diet pop. OH, also I will only drink 2 glasses of pop (need that caffiene!).

Thanks for stopping by.

Hope your self image is flying high :)

158.8

is what the scale said today. Can't believe I typed that out; evil scale. I know it's not the scales fault; it's my fault for eating when I'm bored, stressed, worried.

Food is the worst habit to change. It's not like smoking; you don't have to smoke. You have to eat!

I bought some juice (can't remember what it's called; think it's a V-8 type) anyways it says its two serving of fruit/vegetables in one 8 oz glass. So each morning I drink that with my vitamin! That is two good things in 5 minutes. Yeah for me.

I found a blog that I like and can relate to - from 12 to 6 http://twelvetosix.blogspot.com/.

I am following in her footsteps and trying to change one thing at a time. My first thing - take my vitamin every morning. I have two days under my belt!!

I also want to start running again; its a sport I can do AND enjoy. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

I'll share a secret with you - I want to fit into my wedding dress again. My wedding photographer didn't take any pictures of me standing alone in my dress!!! I want to fit into it, put it on, and have some pictures taken.....dorky I know but it's what I want to do!! I had it cleaned a long time ago; it just hangs in the spare room - silently mocking me.

So I've shared my weight with you and my secret.....

So.....

instead of losing, I've gained. Yup, it's true. The worst part, there's a party I would love to go to; a high school friend is throwing it, but I won't go because I don't want to be the "girl that got fat"!! Sad, I know.

I did run the past two days, and I feel good about that. But I ate Burger King on the way to school, and then potato chips when I got home.

Chicago is cute. That's what I keep telling myself, I want to look cute in Chicago. I want cute pictures from vacation for once. Every picture of me since I've gotten married I look, well FAT!

I always tell myself - well you're not as fat as this person, or that person (yes I know that's not nice but I don't say out loud) but truth be told, I am a WAY fatter version of me that I have ever been. It's not healthy, it's not attractive, and it needs to change. NOW!

It's official

I'm fat. Yup, it's true. I looked at my wedding picture on my desk yesterday, compared it to my school ID. OMG - I have a lot more face than I did, 3 1/2 years ago. I can't deny it.

The worst part - there is absolutely no reason for my large amount of weight gain. I haven't had a baby, experienced a life changing event. Nope, it's just because I like to eat - a lot.

I snack late night. I eat when I'm not hungry because I'm bored. It's my own fault. Kind of depressing to know that I am responsible for something that makes me sad when I look in the mirror.

Why did I do this?

Hmmm...well

Lent results:

Cookies = zero

Candy = zero

Drive thru trips.....well. I guess that is going to be the hardest one for me! It's almost like the Tim Horton's drive thru has a magnet that turns my car into it! Sad I know.

I will go with the AA thought process - one day at a time. Tomorrow I will not hit a drive-thru. I can't say anything about the next day BUT tomorrow I will not!!!

I've been fairly stressed about this paper for school, it's been consuming my life. I suck at writing papers; probably because I HATE IT!!!! AHHHHHHHH

It is due tomorrow and I might possibly be awake all night working on it. I realize it is my own fault BUT I will whine about it anyways.

So after school I will hit the gym!! I miss it.

A little nice husband story - he told me that even though I may not see myself as pretty right now, he does. It was nice to hear (even if it's not true!! LOL).

Lent

I went to the gym yesterday! Yeah me!

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday; these are my Lent promises this year:

No food from places that have a drive-thru

No cookies (a major weakness of mine)

No candy (2nd weakness after cookies)

OH - and only one Panera bagel a week!

This will be a looooooong 40 days!!

Amazing what starting a blog can do for you

I am so motivated to become a more fit and confident version of me!! I look in the mirror and I don't like what I see. I hide in big sweaters and sweatshirts and tell myself it's okay.

I don't want to be the couple who people look at and think "what is that really fit guy doing with chunky butt?"

Today

Today I will work out.

Today I will make wise food choices.

Today I will appreciate life.

Today I realize that good health is precious, and a shorter life can result when you ignore health issues you would rather not deal with.

Today I honor my friend, who did not have health on his side, and who's life was cut way too short because it.

RIP - James Long, I will miss you.